Since I saw the Lord at dawn in the early spring 50 years ago and understood the gospel, I have fallen down and stood up countlessly to establish my own faith before God. When I thought I was standing firm, I falled down again. I have made every effort to stand firm and have been exhausted. Until now, I have had a form of faith, but I have just had a false image of Christ, not the substance of Christ. When I saw this result, I was at a loss what to do.

By the way, at this dawn, the words in the Bible, the arm of God, upheld me who had no strength to stand up. The Lord Jesus, who is the author of faith, awakened the dawn with these words, "the faith which is in Christ Jesus." These words had already been put in my mind and written on my heart. I stood up quickly to read the Bible.

"The grace of our Lord was poured out on me abundantly, along with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus." (1 Timothy 1:14). Amen.

"For those who have served well as deacons obtain for themselves a good standing and great boldness in the faith which is in Christ Jesus." (1 Timothy 3:13). Amen.

"Hold fast the pattern of sound words which you have heard from me, in faith and love which are in Christ Jesus." (2 Timothy 1:13). Amen.

"and that from childhood you have known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus." (2 Timothy 3:15). Amen.

"...through faith which is in Christ Jesus." At this dawn, those words poured the oil on a smoldering wick and brought it to life again. They upheld me with the love of God which is in Christ Jesus and gave me the breath of new life.

Until now, I have made every effort to establish my own righteousness with my own faith, and so I have lost everything in the world and my life has been destroyed. But the end of my own faith has been the chaff without the wheat.

Even though I already received Christ 50 years ago, I have not known the faith which is in Christ Jesus and sought to establish my own faith, and I have not submitted to the faith which is in Christ Jesus. Now I understand: In order to establish my own righteousness, I have lived a dishonorable life of a prodigal son who left the house of the Father, not knowing that the faith which is in Christ Jesus is my righteousness. It is written, "Since they did not know the righteousness that comes from God and sought to establish their own, they did not submit to God's righteousness." (Romans 10:3). I did not know the truth that I ought to know.

But at this dawn, God called me again and took me by His right arm, the Word. I have wandered in a false image of my faith for 50 years, not knowing what I ought to know. Now that the Spirit of truth lets me know the mystery of faith, I will consider my own dishonorable faith rubbish and live by the faith which is in Christ Jesus. Therefore, the peace of Christ will rule in me in faith and love which are in Christ Jesus.

The words in the Bible feel fresh each time I read them, just as these words of righteousness say, "The man who thinks he knows something does not yet know as he ought to know." (1 Corinthians 8:2).

I have committed a great sin to establish my own righteousness with my own faith outside of Christ Jesus. Now I confess my great sin before the Lord. The Lord has waited for me to confess. It is written, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." (1 John 1:9). Amen.

I have gone astray from the righteousness of God so far, wandering in all unrighteousness. However, from now on, I will rejoice with the truth in faith and love which are in Christ Jesus.

Lord! How happy would we be if everyone knew the mystery of this joy? Thank you, Lord.